Family Conflict

As children move into their adolescent years, it is normal for conflict between parents and teens to occur on occasion. As teens become more independent, they begin to question their parents’ rules, and spend more time with friends. Family conflicts occur more frequently.  However, the conflict in some families with teens is severe.  Often when a teen has adopted a lifestyle of deception and dishonesty surrounding their use of porn and compulsive sexual behavior, family conflicts ensue.  Instead of waiting until the problems are really big, decide to start now on finding ways to manage disagreements with your teen. The effort you put into learning ways of lowering levels of conflict will pay off in a happier, more peaceful family.  STAR Guides assists teens and parents in developing strategies for resolving conflict that has arisen from a teen’s deceitful behaviors.  Your STAR Guides therapist will help you to explore the nature of the conflict and provide specific intervention for resolving the conflict.

Some of the common issues leading to parent-child and family conflict include:

Boundary issues. When parent rules are too restrictive, many teens display defiance and rebellion. When parent rules are too relaxed, believe it or not, this can lead a teen to feel insecure and fearful of note receiving the support they need for navigating the difficulties of their teen years. Most teens truly do want set boundaries and more fully achieve their potential when they know what those boundaries are.

Family problems left unaddressed. If past conflicts and problems have not been appropriately addressed, these issues can lead to teen anger, rebellion and lack of respect toward the parents. Because of their inability to maturely communicate about issues, the anger and frustration with unresolved issues leads to acting out and defiance.

STAR Guides Wilderness - Family Conflict

Outside influences. Due to the stresses and demands of what teens must deal with daily, many teens become overwhelmed with school, social pressures, technology and because of their inability to communicate, conclude the issues are too difficult to cope with. When these external pressures begin affecting a teen’s behavior at home it is typically a cry for help.

Dysfunctional family conflict resolution patterns. If the family has a pattern of resolving conflicts by intense verbal arguing, profanity, threats and anger, then these types of attempts to resolve conflict will be the means that your teen may adapt in his/her attempt to deal with problems. Children frequently learn by means of role modeling from their parents . It is vital that parents role model effective conflict resolution methods. STAR Guides therapists teach effective conflict resolution techniques to both teens and parents.

Inconsistency. Teens are experts at creating dilemmas for parents when it comes to sticking to a consequence and being consistent in the implementation of consequences over time. Most teens test and push boundaries to see what they can get away with. As soon as you give in, once, they will continue to push and if you give in again, they will begin to behave as they please. Unfortunately, most parents have trained their children that they can be manipulated and teens exploit the inconsistency of their parents’ inability to remain consistent and true to their word when it comes to consequences.

Attention seeking behaviors. Sometimes in an effort to get their parents attention, even if it is through a negative means, teens need parent attention. If they don’t get positive attention then they will act out until they get any type of attention. Most kids prefer to have negative attention than no attention at all.

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